Aaron Stern's Blog

What's Your Secret? book trailer

Does the thought of telling your secret make your heart race or your palms sweat?

Check out the book trailer for What's Your Secret?: freedom through confession.

   

 

'What's Your Secret?' is now available

Shhhh…. Is there something about you that you hope no one else ever finds out?

You’re not alone. Everyone has secrets—hurts, abuses, bad habits, fears. Big or small, secrets can destroy you from the inside out. The good news is that confession is more powerful than secrets—or the fear that keeps you from telling them.

My new book, What's Your Secret?: freedom through confession is now available...find it on Amazon, Barnes&Noble or at a bookstore near you.

What is Shaping Your Imagination? (part 2)

Last week I wrote a post encouraging us to be more aware of what is forming our imaginations and to be thoughtful about aligning our minds with the ways of the Kingdom of God. If our imaginations are left untended, they will be “tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people.” God’s thoughts and the thoughts of the world exist in radical opposition to one another – it’s self-giving vs. self-serving living. 

Take for example the subject of Church. When we think of what Church is, do we think about it as a place to get spiritual needs met or as a gathering of the interdependent people of God? I don’t think of Church as a grocery store that you go into with a checklist. I think of Church in terms of an old, solid, deeply rooted tree with lots of branches—branches that can’t live autonomously, that can’t live apart from the living organism. 

So this begs the question – what can we do to contribute toward a Spirit-shaped imagination? The quick answer is to immerse ourselves in the Bible and the body of literature that helps us enter into its world with a holy fascination. As we know it is not always that simple and our approach is as much a part of the discussion, so here are just a few practical things that I do to keep my mind pliable and leaning toward the ways of Jesus.

Pray the Lord’s Prayer – everything in the prayer given by Jesus in Matthew 6:9-13 is contrary to the ways and desires of our culture.  This prayer is only something a follower of Jesus would pray. The prayer of the world is “My kingdom come, my will be done” rather than submitting ourselves to the will of God, and “Make my persecutors suffer” rather than embracing forgiveness. This is not a rote, dry repetition of an old prayer but a humble desire to give ourselves to the leadership of a holy, loving Father.

Read authors not just books – I have picked not just a series of books to read but a few authors to read. My goal is to read everything they have written. The subjects about which they write and the way they write contributes to how I think. Considering who I have chosen, the depth with which they write and the number of books they have written, it will take me most of my lifetime to achieve this goal. I have picked both non-fiction and fiction authors along both theological and pastoral themes. Eugene Peterson and Frederick Buechner are just a couple of the authors on my list.

Be very aware of cultural intake – It would be easy in this conversation to get on the anti-media bandwagon. I don’t think avoidance is either practical or inherently wise. The issue is selectivity. We have to be discriminating in what we choose to watch and listen to. And no, this does not mean we are limited to Christian TV—in some cases, it would exclude it! The safe ground is usually found somewhere in the middle of the extremes. 

Get Outside – For me being outdoors on a hike, run or bike ride is a sort of detox. I am removed from the messages that continually bombard me, and I’m reminded of who is big and who is small.

Are there any other things that you find helpful to develop a Spirit-shaped imagination?

 

Q&A: forgiveness and trust

April 9^th at theMILL was Q&A night.  With 3X5 cards and pens on every chair, the topics for the night are undetermined and come at random.  There are two guidelines for this out-of-the-ordinary-night: No questions are off-limits and I will only discard questions that were blatantly inappropriate…other than that anything goes.  Though I have done this several times at theMILL, I get nervous every time.  I expect the usual dating and tattoo questions but have no idea what curveballs will get thrown my way.  I prepare by asking God for wisdom and His direction for the night.  Then it is jumping into the question abyss and doing my best to answer as many questions as possible on the fly over the course of 45 minutes.  I really love Q&A at theMILL and encourage people to not shy away from questions as they can lead us to truth and faith.  For an audio of Q&A night at theMILL click here.

I only get through a small percentage of the stack of questions so I have committed to answer a question a week on my blog for a few weeks.  So here goes.

IS IT A SIN TO HAVE "FORGIVEN" SOMEONE WHO HAS BADLY HURT ME BUT NOT "TRUST" THEM EVEN IF THEY'VE DONE EVERYTHING TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH ME?

When someone hurts us it is imperative that we forgive him or her.  This is often easier said than done but it is something we are directed to do in Scripture no matter how deeply we are wounded or how often we are hurt (Matthew 8:21-35, Mark 11:25, Colossians 3:13).  To withhold forgiveness is not only opposite of the way of Jesus but destructive to our own hearts. 

When talking about hurt and forgiveness, it is important to realize that forgiveness is not synonymous with trust.  Our relationships with others are built on trust and when that trust is violated it changes the dynamic of the relationship. Though forgiveness may happen relatively quickly, trust is built over time.  Forgiveness is a prerequisite for trust to be built, but trust is not automatic. Depending on the violation it may be that trust is never fully rebuilt (i.e. rape by a supposed friend, sexually inappropriate behavior from a family member, etc.). 

I think of it like a bathtub of water.  Building trust is similar to filling the tub with a drip or slow trickle – it will fill up but it takes time.  When someone damages that trust, especially in a significant way, it is like pulling the plug to the drain and the water emptying quickly.  To refill the tub again will take time, so having forgiven someone without fully trusting them is normal.  

If they demonstrate trustworthiness over the course of time, the tub can be refilled and trust can be reestablished.