Time for a facebook Diet?

As you know, I left in June for a six week sabbatical. I returned a few weeks ago and am finally getting around to a little blogging.

My sabbatical was amazing -- I am a huge fan.  Not only was it a break from work and all that comes with pastoring people and being a part of their lives, Jossie and I and our boys were able to take some time away from Colorado Springs.  The time together as a family was invaluable and the joy of being present as a dad and husband for many days in a row was my favorite part.
 
It was incredible to see what floated to the surface without the pressures of daily work and the requirements of maintaining normal life – changing the oil, mowing the lawn, reading the mail, or running other sundry errands.  To alleviate most everything and have few responsibilities was an incredible gift of space.  I read a lot, slept a lot and Jossie and I talked, prayed and processed about many things that will impact our hearts and lives for years to come.  I returned not only physically rested, but mentally invigorated, emotionally refreshed and spiritually challenged.

When I started sabbatical, I assumed I would jump right back into everything I was doing when it ended.  Life would resume as normal. Instead, I have found it an interesting process to re-enter my pre-sabbatical world.  Just like it took time to decompress, it has taken time to fully re-engage.  Naturally it takes time to get back into the swing of things but as my email inbox starts to get back to a normal level, I am finding that my time away had a profound influence on my thought processes and perceptions of some things I do.  I am not fully interested in jumping into how everything was before my sabbatical. It took me a couple weeks to check facebook and I haven’t posted a blog or twittered nearly as much as I used to. It’s not because I don’t like these things anymore or that I won’t use them for personal or vocational use, I just find that they’ve taken a different place in my life.
 
I won’t check facebook nearly as often as I used to not because it’s not enjoyable but because I would rather spend more time with people face to face than in sound bite interactions in cyberspace.  Facebook is a useful tool to connect with people but the problem comes when it is at the expense of those who God has put directly in front of us.  In an attempt to connect with everyone I wonder if in the end truly we truly connect with no one.

We can’t recapture time so we must treat it with care.  Priorities and values will drive how we use it.  So I suggest that personal relationships are of greater value than virtual ones.  I love what my good friend Glenn Packiam says about Facebook, Twitter and other social networking tools.  They are only frosting on the cake.  They cannot replace the cake.  So invest in the right relationships first!

I also recommend allowing for space in life and relationships so we can see what God is up to.  With all the flittering (and Twittering) around from network to network, following of celebrities, acquaintances and enemies it is easy to never be still enough to know where God is at work.  I so deeply want to be who God has designed me to be and do what God has called me to but it is going to take being attentive to where God is.  Eugene Peterson hits the target when he says “most people are dominated by a sense of self, not a sense of God.”  If we are to be God-dependent and Spirit-directed people we must have space in our lives for more than just ourselves.

So bear with me as blogs may be fewer and farer between and facebook comments less frequent.  But I pose the same questions to you.  Are you missing out on what is right in front of you for that which is less real and less near?  Is your social networking frosting or cake?

Comments

[Aaron Stern]

Renee - so true. It is wise for us to not rush blindly ahead but rather to be thoughtful about the subtle impacts technology has on us and our relationships.

[Renee]

Facebook is great for reacquainting and keeping up, but as my sister says, we must remember it's FACEbook, not real life. Things aren't always what they seem...

[Aaron Stern]

Kendal - true. Hopefully space in our lives helps us focus on what matters most.

April - How amazing is that that people will pay money to invest in a farm that doesn't really exist! I think for some people going without facebook might be the best option if the temptation to get sucked in is too hard to manage.

[Kendal]

Its funny how vacations (sabbaticals, extended family time) can mysteriously break us of habits--both good and bad. I remember hitting Gold's 4x a week before a trip to Texas...afterwards, the motivation was gone :-) Sounds like for you it's been mostly positive...sort of like rehab?

[April]

I always tell myself facebook is great because I can reconnect with people I have lost touch with, or who have moved away for college. With my own recent move to a new city, I have been able to stay in touch with a few people I may not have otherwise. However, I often spend much more time than necessary wandering around on the internet, than investing in real life. My husband was recently convicted of spending too much of his life that way, and deleted his facebook account all together. Not only does this free him up to focus more on school, but also on the relationships that really matter. Not farmtown ;)

[Aaron Stern]

Jacob - definitely in for some cell phone/computer free days! Proud of you bro.

Genesis - great thought. It is pretty amazing how quickly we can fill our lives with things that are just time wasters.

Margaret - thank you friend.

Terra - I agree. FB can be a great tool to stay in touch. Jossie doesn't use FB because she has a hard enough time staying up with every day as a SAHM. And when she has a spare moment a nap usually sounds more enticing!

Christian - Too much of a good thing doesn't make it "gooder".

Brooks - welcome home! It is amazing to experience life without them for a while. Something we all should do from time to time even if we aren't leaving the country.

Nathan - So glad this was helpful for you. It is key that we really look at what we are doing with our time and determine if it is a distraction to what is most important.

[Jacob Goodlin]

Aaron - great post! I have recently started to spend less time on Facebook, but this post has convicted me to spend even less time on Facebook.

And I love what Glenn said - what a great explanation.

Btw, facebook/Blackberry/twitter fast during fall retreat. You in?

[genesis]

I went into a media/entertaiment fasting for a month, and i was quiet impressing at the amount of free time I had. Something valuable I learned is that we need to start "updating" God more often than our facebook status/ twiter.
Great post, GOd bless!

[Margaret Feinberg]

Great post!!!

[Terra Fisk]

Facebook is a tool and only a tool. Too often I let it consume me and my time. Occasionally I stop to process why. For me personally it's about connecting with "the outside world" as a SAHM, when I can't get out of the house. I try to let FB enhance my friendships and keep me in contact with people that I only get to see every few months. I do need to sometimes just pick up the phone and talk to people though, instead of FBing, or messaging them. Even just hearing someone's voice over the phone is more personal then a typed message. Thanks for a great reminder!

[Christian Monzon]

Thank you for this interesting and thought provoking post! As one who spends more time then I should on facebook it has hit home.

[Brooks Peppin]

I totally agree Aaron! Even after being away to Nepal for 1 month I realized how pointless, at times, facebook and things like that can be. True relationships and loving people in real life is seriously the only thing that matters. I think we can become so lazy in the way we relate to people and facebook is proof of that. Anyways, good post!

[nathan lindblad]

I have noticed that these networks have become a substitution for actually interaction. That rather than bringing us closer they distance us a part. But i really liked the point where you said before the Eugene Peterson quote. I want to be who God designed me to be. I always only asked what am I suppose to do when He wanted me to not only be a good do-er but to Be who He wanted me to Be.

Thank you, I really got a lot out of this blog.