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« Contentment in Singleness: is it possible? | Main | Must Reads for Every Pastor »

April 18, 2009


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Bekah Ham

Thanks for posting these articles. I appreciate your wisdom and insight! Although there has been alot of controversy over your posts, I can't help but think how grateful I am to be surrounded by theMILL community that can think deeply and have discussions about topics like this (even if some of it is off-base). It is refreshing...thank you!


Noelle, thank you for sharing your heart with such grace and humility! I am encouraged by both your posts and your desire to see others grow in an arena that is endlessly attacked and unbalanced.

My hope is that the wisdom and insight you impart for our good would not be clouded by experience, hurt, cultural norms, or ignorance brought by a fallen world; and that this blogging community may learn to always season our speech with grace.


Noelle, as a life-long single guy in his mid-30s that would love to have a family, let me offer a simple-but-full "Amen" to both of your posts (although I thought the original post spoke well enough, despite some of the feedback). I've been at peace in the midst of my ongoing desire to have a family for a few years now, and I could identify my process and the peace I've come to in what you wrote (including getting past the "you'll find true love when you stop looking for it" canard; I "stopped" about ten years ago.)

To those who had complaints about your original piece, well, as valid as some of their points were, it felt to me as if they were transferring their own feelings and experiences onto your piece (but were not applicable to what you actually wrote). People, you can't expect any one article to be an end-all, be-all manifesto. We can't look to others (writers, pastors, counselors) to work out our salvation/walk for us. We have to work out our own salvations. I, for one, am grateful for writers like Noelle who can add to my working along the way.

An additional thought. While the Christian culture in general doesn't nurture the state of Singlehood as well as it should, as I man I have to say that single women generally bear the bigger burden in our Christian culture. As much as I don't like the hassle of some of the perceptions made of me and my singlehood, I'm glad I don't have to carry the cultural burden often hoisted upon Christian women. I'm just glad there are people out there like Noelle who are changing that cultural paradigm for the better, for the right, and thank you, Aaron, for giving her a voice on your blog.

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