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« Introducing Smith Frederick Stern | Main | Break-ups, Selfishness, and Friendlationships »

March 25, 2009


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We often think we can work on relationships, but relationships are simply the result of two people connecting and the energy that flows between them. So if your relationship is not what you would like it to be, the only thing you can work on is yourself.

College Dating

This is informative! Thanks for sharing this. I'll tell this to my friends.

relationships advice

It is an understandably difficult commitment to honor if you and your sweetheart decide to keep the relationship going while you are apart. Difficult but not impossible.


Great post. It's really helping me while my husband is away in the war. Thank you for helping me stay strong. This article was also useful for getting through the lonely times.


its really a gift of singleness if you didnt have any desire to get married or if your not happy with the relationship you have now, commitment counts a lot but if not comfortable to pursue this its better than not.

Like any relationship, long distance relationships require effort for them to succeed. Where your relationship differs from a normal relationship, is the fact that you have time to live for yourself. How many couples do you know of, who complain that they never have time for themselves. As with any sort of relationship, there are undoubtedly times where frustrations start creeping in. The quality time that you spend together, probably on the end of a telephone line can quickly end up in mind games, destroying the small amount of time you do get to be close together. If the wonders do start creeping up on you, remember that your relationship is built on trust, love and respect.

Aaron Stern

Scott - miss you here in Colorado. Thanks for offering your wisdom and experiences. The key is always making sure that relationships are God-centered and directed by the Holy Spirit. Come back and visit sometime.

Daniel T - our pleasure. I'm sure we will be back again sometime.

Sarah - I don’t know the specifics of your relationship, but my guess is that there is something else that you don’t know about. When things are on a trajectory of forward progress, people don’t change out of the blue for no reason. I answered the rest of your questions on the blog post - Break-ups, selfishness, and friendlationships.

Genesis - yes He does.

Carly - thanks. You and Grant rock! So great to have you guys around theMILL!

j - so glad to be a source of wisdom for you. Hope things go well as you adjust to a long-distance relationship.

Geno - Good job holding loosely to what you thought things were going to look like. The goal is always to surrender ourselves to God and His plans for our lives no matter what that looks like.

Scott Gross

Hey Aaron, Scott Gross here I attended the Mill from 2002-2007 and was among the 10 different people who founded God Chasers. Thank you for continuing to plug into that group. What a blessing you have been in my life and thousands of others.
I would just like to offer up my services to anyone who is in a long distance relationship and needs counsel. I went to the Academy have been involved in a few Long distance relationships myself.
I am currently engaged to be married to a girl that I have been in a long distance relationship with for over a year now. The challenges we have faced have been many, but the growth Christ has brought to our character, relationship to Him, and relationship with each other, has been the greatest gift we have ever received.
Sarah and I did not exactly follow all the advice you presented above, but the one thing we did do and continue to do is place Christ first in all that we do and before one another.
Because we did this both Sarah and I have been able to cancel out the noise of our own personal desires and hear the Holy Spirit calling for our life together.
You are absolutely right by saying communication is something that is greatly improved from a long distance relationship.
Sarah and I still have a long way to go in this great blessing and adventure called marriage. We are excited for what is ahead and confident that as long as our eyes stay focused on Glorifying His name in all that we do, we will succeed and so will others around us.

Daniel T.

Great stuff...Thanks again to you and Jossie for coming out to talk with us. You're welcome back anytime!


Can it be true that if you love someone and they love you, or there is a deep caring likeness (close to love but not love) between the two of you, that one person can suddenly stop feeling that way, or stop feeling that way in a short amount of time? Or are there usually other things that maybe the other may not know about that ended the relationship?

Is it possible to become friends after a break-up?

Also, what are some helpful ways to overcome breakups in which, someone breaks up with you but you still love them?

I really like what you wrote here, but I guess I would like just some guidance with some things that have been hurting my heart lately and I don't quite know how to cope with. Thanks for your great words.


God makes everything beautiful in His time <3

Carly Barron

Love this! Great wisdom here! Thanks for sharing! You rock!


aaron, i cannot tell you how much i needed this blog today! i have been dating this guy for a while now and God has called him to move. we have been debating about what we are going to do once he leaves, as we both aren't crazy about the idea of long distance. we have both had bad experiences with long distance, and because of that found it really hard to find anything to be possitive about in regards to long distance. i have been praying like crazy for wisdom and Godly insite as to what we should do, and when i saw this blog i got goose bumps and feel as if God was confirming things in my heart that He has been gently telling me for a while now. i cant see the future, and don't know what will happen, but i do know that God has both of us in His hands and wants the best for both of us- whether that is a future together or not. He knows what we need better than we do- and i am so thankful for that! but thank you for sharing this blog. it has blessed me today more than you know! thank you!


i totally agree with what was said! i experianced being gifted in singleness but when i was ok with it for life; God asked me to give it up! i believe that God's timing is totally perfect; he knows our hearts n motives! Thanks Aaron for sharing!

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