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« Leadership Isn't Enough | Main | Great Marriages Don't Happen on Accident - part 2 »

December 11, 2008


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Aaron Stern

Kim - I would be happy to meet with them or have someone meet with them that can help. Call my office to schedule an appointment.

Kim Packa

I know you are a busy man... but would you do counseling with them? I know my daughter deeply respects you.

Aaron Stern

Kim - Sounds like a tough situation. I don't think there is a magic pill or one best option so connecting them with multiple resources is helpful - books, mentors, strong friends, counselors, etc. As difficult as it may be to talk about it there is also great value in you showing your care for your daughter and not establishing dividing lines.

Mike - I think I am the lucky one! We miss you guys.

Kim Packa

Aaron, I am thankful that you have a blog and so much good information on marriage. I wish my daughter and her boyfriend would read this and or go to the mill again. He is insanely jealous of anyone that is a male friend in her life and says that she is being unfaithful. I know that she isn't and that she is quite a young woman with high degree of integrity. I see them as unequally yoked. They talk about marriage and that scares me. She has 3 young boys and he has a young daughter. He has already exhibited some character flaws that have shown up as big red flags for me. I can't get her to see and don't want to harp about it as I don't want her to not talk to me about her life. But...I am concerned. She says she needs to forgive him for his behavior.. which I agree. But, she also needs to open her eyes to the fact that he is not seeking guidance or help or making an attempt to make any changes. Can you shed some light on what I should do? I have been praying and waiting and watching. My main concern is obviously for me small grandsons.

Mike Ewoldt

Wow, Mrs. Stern is a lucky woman! Where did you get all this phenomenal insight? You must have received some great premarital counsel yourself! So glad to be a small part of God's immense plan in your lives. We love you. We are very proud of you, we miss you!

aaron stern

Kyle - great to have you as a reader. The benefits far outweigh the time of investment for sure. It is really easy to become complacent and take marriage for granted because it is always there.

Matt - totally true about God being woven in the vows. I really believe it is impossible to do what God asks of us in marriage if we don't rely on His strength. We need to invite Him not just on our wedding day but every day.

April - great to hear from you. Hope you and Justin are doing well. When divorce isn't an option then that means that every other option will (or should) be pursued as an alternative.

Crystal - knowing how to best serve each other is huge. Every spouse should make it their highest goal to determine how to best serve their spouse. when you know that the efforts are more fruitful.

Emily - thank you

Kyle Thompson

wow...first time I've read your blog. great stuff! I've spent the last 16 months working on the movie FIREPROOF and working with so many marriage ministries and watching the film over and over again and made me realize everyday how little i've truly WORKED on my marriage over the last 14 years. But WOW the difference when you focus! I thought we had a good marriage until I started to not be as complacent. Dealing with issues dredged up not so much fun stuff, but the rebuilding process is wonderful and we've gotten a new outlook on what a great marriage can look like. Thanks for the continued insight.


Aaron, I too, am a "do what ever it takes type of guy". I heard an analogy once about a braid of hair that won't stay together tightly with just two strands of hair, but when there is a third strand "God" which weaves itself through the other two, it becomes strong and will stay together tightly.

I think the marriage vows, whether you repeat them or come up with your own, those are the foundation and roots of that joining of two people. To me saying those vows to my wife, was saying...I'm in for life. God Bless.

April Suits

Aaron, we so much appreciate the time we got to spend with you before our wedding!
One piece of advice my mother has always passed to me is "Never let the 'd' word ever be an option in your mind." My husband and I don't mention divorce, threaten divorce, or even consider it in our minds. This has provided such a peace in our relationship; in the same way Christ will never leave or forsake the church,a husband and wife should decide before hand to never leave or forsake each other.


thanks, I know some people who could use this insight right now. Another thing I know can make a difference is the knowledge of love languages. It so clearly communicates how we want and expect to be loved. I'm not married and never have been but I know that if it can make a difference in my relationships with co-workers and friends, it will definitely make a difference in that intimateness.


This is awesome Aaron. Thanks a lot. :)

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